One of the toughest life lessons—especially for kids—is learning not to take everything to heart. Kids are sensitive souls, and when they face criticism, teasing, or negative comments, it’s easy for them (and us parents) to hold onto those words. But holding onto every hurt can leave us feeling off-balance, making it harder to speak our truth and feel good about ourselves. That’s where an old saying comes in handy: let it roll off your back, like water off a duck’s back.

Not Every Criticism Belongs to Us

It’s natural for kids to get upset when someone’s unkind to them—whether it’s a friend’s harsh words, a bad grade, or sibling rivalry. But an important lesson to teach is that not all criticism reflects who they are. Often, someone else’s negativity has more to do with their feelings than it does with us. When we try to change ourselves to match other people’s moods, we lose sight of who we really are.

As parents, we can help our kids recognize this: “If your friend said something mean, it doesn’t mean you’re not awesome—it might just mean they were having a tough day.” Teaching kids to step back and ask, “Is this really about me?” gives them a chance to see things clearly and let go of the things that don’t belong to them.

Protecting Our Core

When kids face criticism, it’s important for them to learn how to stay connected to their core—who they are and what makes them special. Every time they brush off negativity, they get stronger in knowing what’s truly theirs and what’s not. This builds emotional resilience, teaching them that they can stay steady even when someone else’s words feel heavy.

We can remind kids that it’s okay to feel hurt, but they don’t need to carry every criticism with them. Like a duck in the rain, they can let the harsh words roll off. They might need help practicing at first—maybe by talking through situations or doing a silly “shake it off” dance together to release frustration.

Learning to Filter the Feedback

Not all feedback is bad. Some criticism, even though it stings, can help us grow. The trick is learning to filter what’s helpful from what’s hurtful. Teach kids to ask, “Does this help me be better?” If the answer is no, it’s time to let it go. If the answer is yes, they can take it in and make adjustments without feeling crushed.

As parents, we can model this too. When someone criticizes us—whether it’s at work or in our personal lives—we can show our kids how to listen calmly, keep what’s useful, and release the rest. This teaches them that feedback is just information—not a reflection of their worth.

Compassionate Boundaries

Sometimes, the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is recognize when taking in someone’s words will hurt more than help. Kids need to know it’s okay to protect their emotional space. If a friend’s teasing or a classmate’s criticism feels too heavy, they can decide not to carry it. This isn’t about ignoring people or shutting down—it’s about choosing what to hold onto and what to let go of.

Encourage your kids (and yourself!) to have compassion for the emotions that bubble up—but don’t let them stick. When things get hard, make like a duck: shake it off, let it roll away, and keep swimming forward.

Teaching kids to let things roll off their backs isn’t about ignoring challenges—it’s about staying true to who they are, no matter what waves come their way. With practice, they’ll learn to navigate life’s ups and downs with resilience, knowing that not every comment deserves space in their heart. And as parents, we’ll be right there with them, learning and growing together. 🦆💙

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